Comparison

Too many times this week I've looked at someone else's social media posts and felt sharp pangs of jealousy. There's the Instagram fitness blogger who is on a house search in the $1-2M range. Then there's the extended family member who is posting photos from her gorgeous king-sized home in a gated community. The friend who takes expensive tropical vacations every season. The friend who is building a vacation cabin. And on, and on.

It didn't help that I just had to transfer money from our savings account to cover a small, rare overnight trip with my kids to the big city and that left me feeling grumpy. Sometimes it seems like the bills and expenses are coming at me from so many directions that it's hard not to feel anxious.

When I catch myself feeling this way- anxious or jealous over what I do not have and what I cannot afford- I swear that I'm going to ghost from all social media platforms. But I don't. I keep scrolling through my feeds, trying to stifle the growing jealousy whenever it rears its head.

I was really struggling with these feelings the past couple of days. And then God hit me right between the eyes with a truth bomb so relevant that I had to laugh. 

The First Reading at Mass this Sunday was from Second Maccabees (7: 1-14). It's the story of seven brothers, who each, in turn, are given a choice-- disobey God's law or face torture and death. Each brother gladly gives up his life rather than disobey God. Ok, nice sentiment but very morbid. Thanks, Catholic church. 

I didn't think much about that reading, other than it was morbid, and I kind of spaced out during the Gospel as well. But, during the Homily, Father asked us to renew our financial pledges to the Church for the upcoming year. He encouraged us not to just give what is left over (because, let's face it, who ever has "leftover" money?), but to trust God and make an actual commitment to give. He explained that the brothers in Maccabees knew their lives were a gift and they gave their lives back to God. He then emphasized, "Everything YOU have is a gift from God."

I've heard that line a million times. Yeah, yeah. I know. Be grateful, right? But this time it felt different. It rung around in my head a couple times. Then it landed in my heart. Why do some people get million dollar houses and fancy vacations and other people don't? Why do some people get to hire private chefs while others live off the charities of the local food pantry? All these people have one thing in common. Everything they have, however big or small, has been given to them from God. 

If we start to view what we have as blessings and gifts from God, it becomes much harder to feel jealous of others. I think for me personally, jealous stems from a feeling of unfairness. I work hard, why don't I have that? Or, what did they do to earn that? Or, it's not fair that I'll never be in a position to have that. Jealous comes, in part, from feeling that the things that other people have are beyond our own grasp. There is a sense of "unfairness" in that, whether real or fabricated in our imperfect minds.

But, if you think of what you have as a gift not something you earned, everything is different. If someone gives you a gift, you don't ask why you didn't get a BIGGER gift. You are to be thankful for the blessing you have been given. Sure, we might still look around and wonder why some people get more gifts than us … BUT at the end of the day, we are happy to receive a gift!

Everything we know, touch, own, posses- they are all gifts! The very fact that we are breathing is a gift. We didn't do anything to earn life. We did not put ourselves on this earth. Life was given to us by our Creator. Our good fortunes. Our intelligence. Our skills. Our homes. Our families. The food on our table. The money in our bank. Everything we have we truly owe to God. 

How can we tell God that his gifts are not good enough? How can we tell God that we demand more? How can we tell God that we DESERVE more? Instead of asking for more or wanting more, we should FIRST think about what we've done with what we have been given. How have we blessed others with our gifts?

How can we demand more THINGS when, in the end, THINGS do not matter?!

THINGS are a meaningless currency in our quest for lasting happiness. In that quest, THINGS actually mean more when you give them away! Focusing and reflecting on this has really helped me find peace in the world of social media and in the unavoidable game of comparison. When that sickening feeling of jealous starts to bubble up in my thoughts, I just tell myself: It doesn't matter how much you have been given. It matters what you DO with what you have been given. 

So, instead of wondering why I don't have what someone else has, I now try to switch up the question: 

"How have I used my gifts to help others?"